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My Big Announcement
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It’s All About the Blogs

I am on myspace to blog and to entice you to my cam site where for $19.95 a month you can see me pop blackheads, trim nasal hair, and masturbate to reruns of 227… What can I say I have a thing for Jackie.
So please check them out and subscribe or I will put bologna on your car, so subscribe below by clicking on that nifty banner.
Some Important Facts About Me

-I can't snap or whistle but I can blow a mean double bubble.
-I can roll my tongue but can't cross my eyes which I wish was the other way around.
-My sister and I were born on the same day three years apart, which I still think is the worst birthday present I ever received.
-I have scored a basket in basketball, a goal in both hockey and soccer but have never hit a home run in baseball during a game (bar league softball does not count) but I was hit twice in the thigh in the same game. Which I think is personally more impressive because what are the odds of that?
-I started out going to college at the second largest concrete structure in the world (the pentagon is first and SUNY Albany is second).

About Me

Here is where I am supposed to describe myself and my life so total strangers can evaluate and judge me. I believe we are the summation of our stuff, our tastes, and our knowledge, now having said that I want you to know that I know all the lyrics to the “Humpty Dance”. I would like to think that I am not a very complicated person but after reflecting on what to write here I have discovered that I am a train wreck..... Damn these profiles.

-I can and do like to cook
-I like to laugh and consider myself funny
-I like competition
-I think anything that can be bet on
-Soccer really isn't boring to watch if you are watching quality teams. Something in like the European Champions League, or even maybe a good English Premier Division match would count.
-There are good articles in playboy... no really there are.
-The only good news on TV is the BBC World News
-Homestarrunner.com, Genius if you haven't been there stop reading this and go.... Seriously! Watch a Strong bad e-mail or two. It might change your life. Okay, maybe not, it will probably just suck you in and piss away two hours of your life.
-I am great at useless trivia and reading the Snapple fact of the day from the cap of a bottle of Snapple makes me happy.

Random Item
-I can nail just about any movie quote... although I have been stumped a few times lately.
-There is nothing better when your girlfriend leaves your apartment but it still smells like her (note: I am talking about general odor not well...um you know)
-I think I am solid poker player, but everyone thinks they are good at sex and poker.
-Learning is something that never stops ... I never believed my teachers when they told me that but they were right
-I am a good DJ but I have NO other musical talent, and not even spinning.. I can just change cds with a good music selection... So after further thought, I guess I don't have any musical talent
-Sitting in a baseball stadium on a summer afternoon is one of the greatest things you can do to waste three hours

Random Item 2
Things I Dislike
-Larry King should be shot... I think my 4 year old nephew could ask tougher questions. He probably would follow every answer he didn't like with a really funny and weird face, possibly spitting juice at the interviewee.
-I think My Big Fat Greek Wedding was horrible, seriously it was not funny. Furthermore, Lost in Translation was grossly overrated. There I said it. I did not like Lost in Translation all that much.
-Parents and animals love me it's their daughters/owners that are the issue
-Glitter is the worst movie ever made, ok I only watched ten seconds of it but come on... It's Mariah Carey now if it was crazy TRL Mariah Carey going through a breakdown I could sit through that for two hours easily.
-I think MTV is really the downfall of American youth culture, bad music has been pushed on people to a level that is unheard of even surpassing the disco ear ...... but I can't stop watching real world will anyone ever beat Frankie from the San Diego season? I mean come on... It was reality TV gold. Don't go old school and throw Puck in my face, he has nothing on Frankie.....NOTHING.
-Fox News is evil
-Question: why do people write checks in the fast lane at the supermarket...... I hate that
-I have railed on Ashlee Simpson for months.... Her mistake on SNL just confirmed that I am never wrong about these things. Of course I did buy the Vanilla Ice album and I though Jodeci was the second coming of Stevie Wonder but I was young and stupid.
-Making spaghetti does not include using ragu as sauce
-This is for everyone in Southern California- YOU EAT BLUE CHEESE WITH YOUR CHICKEN WINGS NOT RANCH DRESSING.
-I hate the smell of theme park water
-I have an irrational hatred of Paris Hilton, JJ Reddick, small dogs, and Fez.

Random Thoughts
-I feel like a loser when I am forced to go into starbucks and I order hot chocolate because I don't drink coffee, furthermore their hot chocolate is shit... It is all about Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf or whatever starbucks jr is called
-Monopoly and Risk when finished make you wonder what happened to the last four hours of your life.
-Why is the handicapped stall the farthest stall in the bathroom?
-Does anyone have respect for Fred Durst?
-Who is dirtier Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson I can't decide? (note this was an old random thought it has been answered....It is Paris Hilton)
-Why do people in Southern California not understand that Kobe Bryant is not a good person?

Quotes

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."-Lloyd Dobler
“There is an exalted ideal toward which we can reach: the event itself in its human intelligibility, its unity, its diversity. I know how far from it I have remained.”- Ranke

Cool Shit
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writing, comedy, humor, sports, music, movies

Radiohead Travis O.A.R. Stereophonics Led Zeppelin Pearl Jam The StrokesMike Doughty The Flaming Lips The Roots Smashing Pumpkins John Butler Trio Rilo KileyThe ShinsPaul Simon SoundgardenRage Against the MachineBen Lee Ryan Adams John Butler Trio Nirvana Sugar Rios Keane Guster Ben Kweller Ben Folds Dave Matthews Band Ben Harper Blur ColdplayConehead BudhaBeck MOE. Phish Beastie Boys Wu-TangJohnny CashThe Velvet Underground A Tribe Called QuestDrop Kick MurphysCake Foo FightersAlice In Chains Soul Coughing G Love and Special Sauce Stevie WonderThe BeatlesAni DifrancoWeezer The Black Crows, and anyone that can play a cowbell...., CLICK HERE FOR THE MORE COWBELL SKIT, OR WATCH SOME NEIL DIAMOND STORYTELLERS

Any Kevin Smith movieStar Wars Godfather Caddyshack Blazing Saddles The Blues Brothers Animal House Searching For Bobby FisherRaiders of the Lost Ark Monty PythonStripes Goodwill Hunting Tombstone Swingers Goodfellas Office SpaceThe Longest Yard (The old one)Mystic RiverSnatchJarheadFull Metal JacketSay Anything The GooniesHalf BakedHigh FidelitySwingersGarden State Karate Kid History of the World Boondock Saints The 40 Year Old Virgin AnchormanCool Hand Luke The Hustler Risky BusinessMillion Dollar BabyBreakfast ClubThe Shawshank Redemption Surviving The Game (Seriously)Bull DurhamKill Bill Resevoir Dogs Pulp Fiction Any 80's Movie, Former Profiles, I used to change my profile every month or so to a different person before I just became Kevin's "Freaking". I would update it with a new video, quote, pic and name. Here is a list of some of the people I have been with a link to their video., Double Down Trent, Cochese (from the sabotage video), Carl Spackler, James Brown's Celebrity Hottub Party, Matt Foley, Neil Diamond, Turd Ferguson, Rick James, Wayne Brady, Black Bush

The Wire, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Sopranos, Simpsons (old episodes), Curb Your Enthusiasm, Deadwood, Lost, Conan, Seinfeld, and old episodes of Cheers...., I can't deny my love of reality tv either, it lends itself to the best running commentary, Click Here For Jon Stewart on CNN Crossfire, It takes a second to download but it is worth the wait.

The Naked and the Dead, Encyclopedia Brown (come on they were great), Stupid White Men, A Separate Peace, Chicken Little, Various Autobiographies, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, You Shall Know Our Velocity